Welcome ASPIRING Women Who Want to Become Confidently Stylish Communicators

Become a member of our 'Clique' today! Not just membership, but a welcoming clique to join.

Monday, April 4, 2011

Are You an Effective Speaker? Ask Yourself 5 Questions.

An effective speaker isn’t measured by how smart she is or how many degrees she has or how many letters follow her name. In fact, many successful speakers have none of the normal credentials that we as a society associate with success. What successful effective speakers have is a powerful message that captures the attention of their listeners. Whether you are a professional, executive, stay-at-home mom who heads up PTA meetings, an entrepreneur or a preacher, ask yourself these five questions to determine whether or not you are an effective speaker.

  1. Do I read my speech?
  2. Do I talk at the audience?
  3. Do I interact with the listeners?
  4. Do I show them or tell them?
  5. Do I make sense?

Let’s address each question separately.

1. Do I read my speech? Whether you are reading your speech from a fully written document or note cards, if you are reading your entire speech—you are NOT an effective speaker. No audience wants to look at the top of your head and only see your eyes when you can occasionally break away from those very interesting note cards! As a speaker, you should KNOW your material or your topic so well, that you shouldn’t have to read it word-for-word. Word-for-word reader/speakers suffer from one or all three of the following scenarios:

a. Fear and nervousness—which is normal for new speakers

b. Lack of knowledge of the topic

c. Lack of proper preparation

If you have agreed to speak at a function, you should have taken the time to thoroughly prepare that you don’t have to read your speech. If you suffer from fear and anxiety when addressing an audience, there are many techniques that can help you overcome these—but the most important one is to seek out proper speaker training.

There are rare occasions when a speaker who has read their entire speech is effective and those occasions are often associated with heart-felt inspiring messages, but they are not the norm. A speaker who reads her speech may find that she has done more harm than good because the audience may deem her as non-credible and therefore, her message not one worth listening to. Overcome the temptation to read your speech by KNOWING your topic and practicing it at least EIGHT times. An effective speaker may have notes, but looks at them only on occasion.

2. Do I talk at the audience? Talking at an audience is quite condescending and very telling that you may think more highly of yourself than you ought. Engaging the audience in a captivating speech requires relating to them and interacting with them. If you are ‘tooting your own horn’ and telling them how great you and/or your services, products or knowledge are, then they will be turned off by your arrogance and self-promotional attitude. Which takes us to our next question…

3. Do I interact with the listeners? One of the most important elements of public speaking is interacting with the audience. The best ways to bring your audience into your message is to interact with them on a relational level. Here are a few examples:

a. Ask them questions. Invariably there is always at least one person (usually in the front row) who will answer the question. Of course, sometimes this person will try to take over your message, nevertheless, ask the audience questions. Even if you’re not expecting an answer, it invites them to participate by engaging their thoughts.

b. Invite two or three audience members to participate in the message. Do this ahead of time with permission. You should NEVER EVER embarrass anyone, so this should be done with tact and planning.

c. Use props. We are a visual culture and we love to see pictures and items. When you use props, your audience is going to notice what they have to do with your message, which is interactive.

4. Do I show them or tell them? No one really likes being told what to do—it’s the hidden teenager in all of us. Craft your message so tightly that you are showing them through stories, examples, statistics and topic results. These types of things make your message more lively and interesting. Share anecdotes and stories relating to your message.

5. Do I make sense? Sometimes what we are saying makes sense to us, but what about those people sitting there who have taken their precious time and spent hard-earned money to come hear you. If you are making sense, you will see audience members agreeing with you. You will hear laughter, see smiles, notice tears, assured nodding of heads or listeners taking notes. If you do not make sense, you will know it because your audience will be non-responsive or worse, they will look at you with questioning eyes that are saying “What are you talking about?”

If you desire to become a confident and effective speaker, pursue the following options:

Observe and listen to speakers who you admire. Take notes about what they do that engages you. Do not mimic this speaker, just know what you like so you integrate some of those same elements and tactics into your speaking opportunities.

Seek to be trained. There are many opportunities to be trained as a speaker. Consider college courses, speaker services companies (we at BURST can help you—because that is one of our main services), join a local speaker’s club and read books about speaking techniques. A well-trained speaker will be an effective messenger.

Being properly trained as a speaker will catapult you ahead in more areas of your life than you will ever imagine. For a minimal investment, you can become a credible messenger. Are you worth it? Are your listeners worth it?

©2011 by Esther Hughes. All rights reserved.

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Welcome Structure and Schedules

The 'lazy' days of summer are coming to an abrupt end as they do each year. Mothers cheer as the big yellow buses pass by carrying off their children to school. Professionals, teachers and executives return to their offices and close up their summer homes. We all acknowledge the relief that summer's end brings because we crave some sort of structure--which is often lost during the sunny days and sultry nights. Just as January is the month of resolutions, so September is a month of returns. Returning to schedules, structures and hopeful accomplishments that were sidetracked while we vacationed, traveled, entertained, taxi'd and referree'd our children.

Start this new season by finding your new voice! Do you speak at work? Are you a seminar presenter? Are you hoping to become a public or professional speaker? If so, check out our monthly group, Speak UP Step OUT, for women in and around Bucks County, Pennsylvania.

Perhaps you've always wanted to write. Start this fall by establishing a writing routine. Our monthly group WriteShare meets the first Thursday of each month. After a short time of informational guidance, we embark on almost one full hour of devoted and guided writing.

For more information, email info@onedaysharing.com or check out our web site at www.onedaysharing.com. ReTurn to your goals, dreams and desires this September.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

JUST WRITE THIS SUMMER

The long sunny days of summer have arrived and, with these days, we have two choices: to write or do something else. If you choose to write 300 words 5 days a week for 8 weeks, you do the math! That's 12,000 words--1/3 of a book completed by summer's end with no more than 20 minutes worth of time each day. This is how successful authors and writers becomes successful--they actually sit down and write. While the rest of us talk about writing, meet at writer's group meetings, attend writer's conferences and take classes, the writers are counting the words added to their work every day and shopping for publishing options. Below are 5 things to do to make writing happen.



Establish a writing schedule. If you have a solid writing project in mind, start writing about it. Set aside time five days a week and promise not to leave your computer or pen until you have a certain amount of words on paper. OR, if you prefer time-pressures, implement a writing schedule of 15 minutes per day. Several authors, became authors by writing 15 minutes a day.



Create a tracking log. A tracking log starts with four columns: the date; the starting word count, ending word count and the difference. Track your progress by inputting the information daily into your writer's tracking log.



Seek out inspiring writing materials. Look for books and magazines that inspire you to write your desired genre. Read what other writers do and adopt your own system that works with your lifestyle and schedule.



Plan one or two extended writing periods. I book 'writing appointments' with myself. If I don't do that, phone calls, Facebook, texts, kids, laundry, the dog, or work will take over every second of every day. However, if I schedule writing appointments, they are just as important as work-related meetings. If you don't think of your work as important enough to keep an appointment to write, how will others take you seriously and treat your time as valuable?



Leave your normal surroundings. The best way to avoid all of the other things that will steal your time away from writing, is to leave them behind. Head to a park, lake, beach, or mountain spot with your pen and paper or fully-charged laptop and write for as long as you possibly can.



Remember to JUST WRITE. Don't stop to edit a work until you've completed a large portion of it. First--get all of your thoughts out, then go back and write, rewrite, edit and put in the mechancis. Don't get bogged down with the nuts and bolts: JUST WRITE!



For more writing tips, check out Writer's Digest, The Writer, and your local library or bookstore for writing tools. Also, if you live in Bucks County, PA and would like to know more about the Communicators' Clique, visit us at http://www.onedaysharing.com/. We have writing days scheduled this summer as well as a Fall Commuicators' Retreat.



For the record: This blog is 527 words and I wrote it in less than 20 minutes. Choose to write this summer--it can be done--but it is a choice!

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

What is the Communicators' Clique?

What on earth is the "Communicators' Clique?" It is a membership for women who seek to write, speak and become better all-around communicators.

On the FIRST Thursday of each month a group of ASPIRING and INSPIRING women gather together to learn more about the writing process, themselves, publishing options and of course, the opportunity to just WRITE! If you are looking for a writer's group specifically for women, come try us out on Thursday, May 6. We have a morning group meeting from 9 to 11 a.m. and an evening group from 7 to 9 p.m. If you have a book, blog, newsletter, article, story or message inside you--don't put it off until "someday" start writing TOday! There's no promise of a SOMEday--so start writing your message TODAY!

On the THIRD Thursday of each month a group of ASPIRING women who are aware of their need to increase their confidence in public speaking, conversation, and interaction come together to develop verbal communication skills. Sample themes for each meeting:

1. Conversation Starters
2. The 30-second introduction (with a twist)
3. Power-packed presentations
4. Inspirational Speaking

If you think you're a good speaker, join us--we invite you to share your expertise with us. Public Speaking development will help improve confidence, clarity and credibility. Join us TOMORROW, April 15 at Speak UP Step OUT in Lahaska.

For more information about the Communicators Clique, visit www.onedaysharing.com.

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

The Message of Music

I LOVE music! It is a beautiful gift that musicians give that speaks volumes. This is the reason I use music to inspire me in writing and speaking. The words often give the extra punch that my message needs. Have you ever thought of using meaningful songs to improve your written or spoken messages? Music:
  • Promotes thought.
  • Instigates introspection.
  • Speaks UP and OUT.
  • Entertains listeners.
  • Explains emotions.
  • Soothes broken hearts.
  • Captivates body and soul.
  • Encourages movement.
  • Reinforces beliefs...and so much more.
This week I heard a meaningful song by "Kutless" titled What Faith Can Do. The title is powerful because it is almost a 'teaser' saying: "If you listen to this song, you'll know what faith can do!" And if you listen to the song, it does exactly that, but even more, because this song accomplishes all the points listed above. As we celebrate Passover and Easter, the words from this song, solidfy my personal faith and reiterate my belief that faith can move mountains, give hope, answer prayers, mend broken hearts and encourage us to jump out of the boat and into the water, which is what writers and speakers face every time they share their messages. I encourage you to listen to this song and see what message you receive from it, and then write about it. And, in the process:
  • Have faith in yourself during this Holy week.
  • Take time to develop your goals as a communicator or messenger.
  • Listen to music to refine your message(s).

Thinking about doing something is good.
Planning for it is better;
DOING it is defeating the urge to quit.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Choosey Communicators Choose Words Well

Did you know that there is absolutely nothing wrong with inventing your own words? We do it all the time. This past week, I was brainstorming with a couple of women for an upcoming event and a new word rolled off my tongue...'FUNFESSIONAL'...I was shocked when I thought of it, but it fit the purpose behind our brainstorming. I have since "Googled" the word and found out that I didn't invent it, but it is a great word that describes someone who is a professional but knows how to integrate professionalism with fun. Jamie Broderick, has accomplished this mission of combining fun and professionalism in the culture of her organization, Network Now.

Have you invented words? Have you thought about sharing them with anyone? Another word that I frequently use is 'FANTABULOUS.' I have no idea if I thought of that one on my own or if I heard it along the way somewhere, but I love how it puts a different spin on fantastic and fabulous. Sometimes, the English language lacks enough descriptive words, which is why it's fun to try to invent new ones.

Each year Webster's adds new words to their dictionary. Recently added words include: BLOG, GOOGLE and BRAINFREEZE. Those are everyday words for us now, but 25 years ago, we weren't familiar with those terms (brainfreeze maybe, but certainly not the other two).

Words, when used appropriately, are building blocks to deeper communication. Words, when not used appropriately, are the missing link in broken relationships and hurtful insults. When communicating, try to broaden your vocabulary by adding variety to your message. Not long, obnoxious words that will mute your message, but fun words that will instigate thought with your receivers.

CHALLENGE
Post your new words on the Communicators' Clique and let's see how creative we can be.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

The Noreaster is Coming--PREPARE TO WRITE

Later tonight, the Greater Philadelphia Region will be experiencing our fourth major snowstorm of the season. Take advantage of the winter weather and WRITE about it. Complaining about it accomplishes nothing, but if you write in the midst of the storm, you will accomplish something valuable. People living through this winter will not forget it anytime soon and future generations will wonder what it was like. Here are some tips to get your creative juices flowing to take advantage of the life-halting experience a snowstorm brings.

SNOWSTORMS FORCE US TO:


Stay off the roads. (unless, of course, we are emergency personnel and the road crews). So if you would be driving to work, to meetings, appointments, or errands--instead, use that time to WRITE.

Stay inside. Think of a snowstorm as a free night at home instead of running your children to all of their activities or running yourself to your activities--WRITE.

Cuddle up. Grab a pen and journal OR laptop and WRITE.

Shovel and dig out--NO. Find a hungry teenager (hungry for food, gas money, itunes cards, video games, whatever) and hire him or her to do your shoveling. That frees you up to WRITE.

Avoid doing laundry, housework or the bills--avoid anything that HAS to get done because at some point, it will get done sooner or later. Start writing in those few moments while gazing out your window watching the swirling snowflakes quietly cover the ground once again. Enjoy those peaceful flakes because soon enough the rush of normal life will squeeze out the silence that is in the midst of a snowfall.


Set Snowday Boundaries with your kids. Yes--it is actually acceptable to tell your children they are to occupy themselves for one hour while you steal away to pull your thoughts together to accomplish something for you. But, just in case--pull out some movies and popcorn and tiptoe out of the room.

WRITE about snow or sand, or sea--JUST WRITE!